moonrainbow Thinking-2-16-2023 moonrainbow

Entry 000



I'm not entirely sure what to write here, especially for a first entry. I haven't kept a journal ever in my life--at least more than a few days. Usually I get fatigued after writing a page and give up. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Nothing much has been going on with me--well I guess that isn't true. It just feels like it because I'm out of work and life is kind of boring and uneventful as of late. I could get into how sad and insecure it makes me feel that I haven't been able to secure a job in nearly a month and a half, or how ashamed i feel for being too depressed to really put my best foot forward, but that's a way longer story and frankly I don't want to wallow anymore.

It's been a dark year and a half since I moved states, and while I love my boyfriend, being without insurance, testosterone, friends and not being able to leave the house is just killing my mental health.

That being said, things are starting to look up!

I've recently had my first insured doctors appointment and yesterday I finally got a T shot after being without. It was surprisngly uneventful, and of course I don't feel different yet, but I feel...good.

I feel like maybe I can go out and face the world again. As myself. And it's been a long time since I've felt like myself. Like Ian.

I still have several things I need to get in order, but this is the first step. The days are warming up here and I hope brighter days are coming for not only for me, but for everyone around me who has been feeling low.

That's all I really have to say right now.

Signing off